Frenetic

---

Nope. Not happening. Don't believe it. Just No!

The biopsy results were deafaning and yet I refused to hear. Inside my head and with all my energy I screamed: 

"Just stick to the positive. Keep it light. Remember the good times. Focus only on where you want to go. Don't allow one molecule of negativity to enter your space. Keep it up. Keep going. Don't stop. I don't care if you're tired. It doesn't matter what the doctors say. You got this. Sleep later. Just smile. Don't stop. Keep smiling. You can beat this. "

"Frenetic" is my energetic depiction of all that was firing in my head and heart when I heard my husband's diagnosis. Me being me, I was ready to move mountains as I sat across the desk from the doctor,  comfortable in my health with no pain to mar my thinking. 

Turning and looking at my husband, who was shrinking and withering before my eyes I stopped my inner superhero and realized this was not my fight. 

For my mountain could no longer move, and bearing witness to his strength was the only way to truly honour him.

To be his superhero I had to simply, lovingly, let him be.

The hardest battle I've ever had to lose.

100cm x 100cm 

Acrylic on Canvas